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Ramblin’

I shouldn’t ramble, at least not when I’m writing. Telling stories is a whole other experience, as many of you can attest, but when I write, there is never anyone there who I have to worry about, so I feel no pressure to explain odd minutiae, and therefore I have less tangential digressions, some of which have been known to get me so off-track from the original tale that it may be weeks before I remember that I never finished telling that which I had started. That can get a little aggravating for me, because I know that when I set my mind to it and just tell a story with the salient points and a modest amount of detail, it can be a good time by most everyone. I won’t say everyone, because then some would comment on that just for the sake of saying so. But I already know this. It runs in the family.

However, tonight I feel like rambling. I’m not sure why. I guess I have a case of the blahs, and I’m hoping that it won’t become a full-blown case of the blues. I have little reason to feel this way, but it never seems that it takes much to bring me down a little, even when I’ve been riding high. Lately I have been home with my family and seen several friends during the past 2 weeks, I have only worked a little, and I have been given so much blessing by them and by God Himself even, that to feel even a little down seems practically sacrilegious. I don’t think it is, but it sure would be nice to feel a little more like I should. One cannot force good feelings, and so I take what I feel and have to think about it. Because that’s what I am good at- thinking. I am a thinker by nature and rational to the last. It gets me in trouble with feeler-types all the time, because I often overlook the feeler issues because the reason is given so much more power in my decision making. Well, when I feel blah (or blue), I often react by over-thinking. I think I should think less, but then I think that maybe I’m over thinking and should just think about it some more. But on seventy-second thought, maybe… You get the idea.

There are several things that could have led me to this place today. Maybe the fact that I am about to leave on the first of 3 trips, the third of which is to work on the other side of the world is bringing me down, because I will miss my family and friends. It could be that just the fact that my bid to buy a condo here in Houston is not going as smoothly as it should is getting to me. But I don’t think that those are the real problem. Sure they are important. But I can handle them just fine. I think it is something else: in cases such as these, the mightiest blow is usually dealt unknowingly by the softest hands. Perhaps I shouldn’t set myself up on a tee so often when there are women with clubs nearby.

Email is a wonderful tool. I use it a lot. I love using it, as it keeps me in touch with friends all over the world. But tools have a funny way of being dangerous when used incorrectly. I think I have been doing that. And it may have come back and bitten me. Again (yes, I’ve done it before). How do I avoid this though, when it is such a great way of communicating? By being more direct. Letters are similar, but email is so easy that there is a temptation to write something quickly and send it, not thinking that another person could interpret it in any way other than the one intended, but sure enough that other way is more likely the way it will be interpreted, especially when it is to a person of the opposite sex, even if said person (a woman obviously in this case) tends to think more rationally than her peers when it comes to things like that. I suppose that it matters little when I can see that I haven’t been direct enough to require a response to the real question. For example I have written a lot of poetry here in this blog, and though some of it was inspired by the person to whom I refer, I don’t think that she actually knows that. Now I am not saying that my poetry is directly related to her, but only that some of it has been inspired by my thoughts of her. The fact that she doesn’t know it has nothing to do with her intuitiveness, but rather my writing that has been less than obvious. Mostly I like to think that I have written these things in a veiled sort of way because several people read it and I don’t want to be too personally revealing, but the truth is that I am not sure that I have decided that I even want to be that revealing to her. Maybe that is why today when I received an email that didn’t say exactly what I wanted to read that I began to feel a bit down. Circumstances so seldom do that to me, but a word from a good friend so easily can cause a wound. That’s even mentioned by Solomon in the Proverbs, so I’m in good company.

So what do I do now? That is the question that I have to answer. Dear reader, you may offer suggestions, sage advice, or the banter of never-ending witticisms, and all comments are appreciated, but I think I already know the answer. Or at least where to find it.

Comments

Comment from J Holden
Time: 31 December, 2005, 1:00 am

if i had the answer – i would certainly share it with you, bro

i think i can say with a bit of confidence that i’ve been where you are. i have received emails and phone calls with responses that left something to be desired.

from “cast away” – “tomorrow, the sun will rise again.”

and from “the greatest salesman in the world” – “this too shall pass.”

i haven’t gotten any answers to my situation – but we never know what tomorrow will bring.

tomorrow, God could bring the love of my life walking thru the door.

i’m not sure who this woman is, or what place she holds in your life. and only you can know if you need to take your shot.

but i’m with ya.

Comment from dennis
Time: 31 December, 2005, 1:52 pm

Thanks, j. Actually I am doing well. Today the blahs are going away, the sun is shining, and I am enjoying the small things instead of sweating them.

Not so worried about tomorrow, because there is still plenty of today left over. I can say only good things about this woman- she is the tops, whether things go well or nowhere.

I’m actually very encouraged at the moment, because no matter what happens I know that my God supplies all my needs and blesses me even before I ask for something.

Comment from trey
Time: 2 January, 2006, 12:52 pm

if she is reading this: WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEEE!!!! Dennis is cool. . .fall in love already. . .

(omg, your word verification today is way too long)

Comment from Jen
Time: 2 January, 2006, 1:00 pm

Be blessed today Dennis – i will be living vicariously thru you as you take your trip to New Zealand!! jen

Comment from dennis
Time: 2 January, 2006, 8:00 pm

Thanks, Tery, I needed a good laugh! Ha! Things are as they should be, and I am actually feeling really good at the moment. Maybe that is because I am in Nashville and have been with good friends, eaten better than I should, and I am finally being more direct, as I should have been all along.

Not to be confused with “going direct,” as with Amway…

thanks, Jen, I am so looking forward to being among the Kiwis…

Comment from Sploosh
Time: 3 January, 2006, 2:26 am

What are you thinking? Is the name of this blog gonna be, Love Connection? People just don’t fall in love on the internet…especially a blog…or do they?
Mebbe I’ll start my blog soon and we can do some marketing for you…its all aboot the marketing!

Du bist super.kuhl

I shall miss ye…but e will try to console me…she will…

Comment from e
Time: 3 January, 2006, 12:02 pm

that’s sweet babe…

dennis…you are all right with me.

Comment from Alexandra
Time: 3 January, 2006, 4:02 pm

Yo te entiendo y pienso que necesitas una companera.

Porque no eres directo con la chica que te gusta? Tienes miedo de algo?

No se mucho de ti, pero segun tu blog y lo que conversamos cuando te conoci, pienso que eres un hombre seguro de ti mismo, dulce, caring(no se como se dice en espanol) y bueno. Tal vez eres un poco timido, pero que te impide hacer el acercamiento y expresar tus sentimientos por ella?

Estare orando por ti.

Comment from dennis
Time: 3 January, 2006, 4:17 pm

wow, enough already. No more feeling sorry for me, as I am not feeling sorry for myself. Thanks, though, for al the well-wishes. I am sufficiently better.

Gracias, Alexandra, por tus pensemientos. Sé que Diós me cuida todos los días y sigue soporarme en la vida. Ultimamente con la chica todo ha sido discutido y somos amigos, la amistad está bien. Pues, gracías y espero que te vayas bien tambíen.

Comment from Alexandra
Time: 3 January, 2006, 5:31 pm

Que bueno. Me alegra que hayas resuelto tu amistad con la chica.

Que bueno que te sientes mejor. Espero que encuentres muchas bendiciones en Nashville.

Que Dios te bendiga!

Comment from La Tejana
Time: 3 January, 2006, 7:40 pm

Oh you and Alexandra have to be showing off!

Comment from dovie
Time: 4 January, 2006, 3:13 am

Two life mantras:

1. It’s all about marketing (nod to Robb),

2. Communication is critical.

:)

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