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Dying to Self

Since becoming engaged to marry I have begun to learn some things about life and who I am that I don’t think I ever would have learned otherwise.  There is a part of me that is more selfish than I would have ever cared to admit.  Now, however, I am forced to confront this in the light of the fact that I am going to be married.  That fact alone is enough to break a few of my prior paradigms on how I should live my life because I no longer am making decisions for myself alone: I am making decisions that directly affect another person, one whom I claim to love with my whole being.  If I am to love her as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it, then I must love sacrificially, denying my own wants and desires in an effort to provide and also be everything that she needs in so much as I am able.  This does not mean that I will never be able to have that which i desire; on the contrary, by providing for her I will be filling myself up with joy knowing that I am being a good husband.  So even in sacrifice I am blessed.  Does this mean that no matter what I do I stand to gain something and it cannot therefore be considered “sacrifice?”  I say no.  St. Francis of Assisi is quoted as having said that, “it is in giving that we receive,” and, “it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.”  Does that mean that we give because we know we are going to get back or pardon just because we will then be pardoned?  Again I say no.  We are to give expecting nothing in return.  We are to forgive expecting no thanks.  In marriage it is this way.  The beautiful thing though is that if both are giving and forgiving in this manner, then both will be blessed because of the love that is shared sacrificially.  It is truly a bewildering concept for me.  I can’t wait to learn more.

Comments

Comment from steven
Time: 18 November, 2008, 2:58 pm

Wait till you have kids. :-)

Comment from Julisa
Time: 18 November, 2008, 5:24 pm

Your brother might be unimpressed with what you’re learning, but this girl knows how incredibly blessed I am to have a man who is already thinking about stuff like this. :-)

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